Babycakes, aka "Cheeks McGee", turns four months old today. I have been thinking about how much my life has changed (again) in these few short months. Take two in parenting an infant:
It'll be okay. Miss Bee is my daily confirmation that babies will eventually sleep, eat, and use the bathroom on my own. I spent far too much of Miss Bee's babyhood worrying about her milestones, whether she was eating too much or too little, and whether I shouldn't really be doing x or y. I consulted baby books and internet websites. I charted her growth. If she was asleep, I was concerned about when she would wake up. If she was awake, I was worrying about when she would go to sleep again so I could have some time to myself. All that worry was a massive waste of energy. I probably could have powered the international space station with the combined force of my fears.
Nowadays, I don't have time to worry about anything other than the prospect of major calamity. Taking care of multiple small children is a lot like running across a wobbly bridge suspended over a shark tank. You know you're going to fall in, no doubt about it, you just hope that when you do, the sharks don't eat you. In a way, embracing failure is a heck of a lot more relaxing than striving for perfection.
All babies are different. This seems very obvious, but it has come as a surprise to me just how different Cheeks is from her big sister. Unlike Bee, I can put her down for a nap when she is tired, yet still awake. I put her down in her crib, she makes a little face, and she goes to sleep. I don't need to wait for all out REMs. It has taken me the first three and a half months of her life to actually figure this out, but ever since I have, it has made nap time and bedtime so gloriously efficient. On the first go round, we spent the first year of Bee's life holding her until she fell asleep and then carrying her like a stick of dynamite to her crib. But that's just the way Bee was. It was the only way to get her to sleep. (And breaking her of this habit was not very fun.) It's amazing how at such a young age, my daughters can already be so different from each other.
My stomach will never be the same. Oh vanity! I am beginning to wonder when the "baby weight" can no longer be attributed to pregnancy and is just extra weight. (Not yet, please!) Before traveling back to Romania I saw my doctor and was bemoaning the fact that nothing fit because I still had ten plus pounds left to lose. She merrily informed me that losing weight after the second pregnancy takes forever and that it's just nearly impossible. Well thanks. So far my strategy has been to go running, come home, look at my marshmallow shaped stomach, and eat chocolate in despair. This is only marginally effective; I'll let you know if I come up with anything better.
Bedtime is sacrosanct. The one thing that we really got right with Bee and are continuing with Cheeks is the concept of bedtime. As in, little people must go to bed before 8 pm so that my husband and I can have some time to ourselves. This is impossible, of course, with a newborn but lately Cheeks has started going to bed around the same time as her sister, and we are hoping to continue that routine. Time alone. Two of my favorite words in the English language. It's not selfish to want to be away from your kids for a little while each day. In fact, I think it has made me a better parent as a result. (It is tragic that our routines will be thrown into complete disarray when we travel back to the US next week and all have jet lag. A three year old, a four month old, jet lag, and me--I have no words to describe how this fills me with dread!)
So here's to the first four months of parenting two daughters. I have been so lucky to have this time at home. In short, they have been the best four months of my life.
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