Snow Day

Epic

This morning we were at the pediatrician for almost two hours. It was the whole "called back right away but then left to moulder in an exam room alone for 40 minutes trick". Except we were not alone. The whole family was together! Miss Bee enjoyed the contents of my purse. J and I were busy keeping Baby N warm as we had had to undress her to be weighed. She was just about asleep when the doctor finally came in for N's examination. She was pronounced to be in good health and ready for vaccinations.

I am pro vaccine. I believe it is the duty of every parent to have their child vaccinated for their own health and for the public at large. However I do not like watching my baby get her shots. My guess is that no mother does. And today, the beastly nurse--don't know where she came from because they are mostly so nice--jabbed my darling baby bird as if she was sewing up a Thanksgiving turkey. Not once but three times. Baby N bled a surprising amount and cried herself to sleep in indignation.

At home, N spent the next couple hours sleeping and whimpering. By mid afternoon she was really hurting and switched to full on screaming. I don't know how some poor parents survive colic. Here I was, feeling pretty competent as a mom of two, with my nerves completely frayed after about 30 minutes of crying. J and I took turns holding our little tea kettle, who eventually wore herself out and subsided into snuffling.

For the rest of the day N slept and ate and cried. My mom came over and played with Bee. We ordered pizza.

Around 8:00 pm, N woke up feeling a lot better. She feasted. And then feasted some more. She was bright eyed and wiggling and seemed to be her old self. I was feeling relaxed for the first time all day. Then she barfed all over me and my bed. It was like a tidal wave of regurgitated milk. Amazing in its quantity and consistency. Lots of things are in the laundry and the moment. Hungry after her mighty effort, she nursed again and is sleeping peacefully now.

I am hopelessly in love with this baby, but I am looking forward to a hopefully more normal day tomorrow.

Two weeks

In just two weeks we are headed back to Romania. I am in denial. I wish I could keep my husband home with me forever, snug in our new house, grown fat with daily trips to Starbucks.

America is easy. Everything you could possibly need is available, prepackaged, and clean. Multiple sizes and colors. The largeness of Target. The ridiculous selection of foodstuffs at the grocery store. Tempting fast food on nearly every street corner. Instead of zipping to Safeway and strolling the mall, we will be shopping at the market and walking in the park.

In Romania, I will get to stay home with my girls for the next several months. A luxury indeed. Slightly terrifying as well. How will we structure our day? How to keep Bee occupied when I am feeding and caring for Baby N? Will I go stir crazy? Or worse, will going back to work in June completely break my heart?

Two books

"Sacred Hearts" by Sarah Dunant: It's fantastic! Five stars! A must read! Please excuse my gratuitous usage of exclamation points but I really really enjoyed this book. The author locks you inside a Italian convent from the 1600s and won't let you out until you read every last page. The story is extremely absorbing, and you're rewarded with a really well crafted ending.

"Every Secret Thing" by Ann Tatlock: I thought this would be interesting because it was about a boarding school, but really, it managed to throw a wrench in my newly renewed enthusiasm for reading novels. The characters were not particularly likable. The story was rather predictable. All in all, I would say this book is one to pass over.

Have Mercy

I am having quite a laugh listening to my husband and daughter play in the other room. Bee is pretending to be some sort of twisted doctor/ beautician and is torturing my husband with her (play) Disney princess hair dryer.

"Have mercy!" he cries.

"I'm not Mercy!" she responds.

"No! Ouch! No! Mercy is a concept, not a person. . ." my husband attempts to explain, as he fights off the hair dryer.

"A person!" Bee squeals in response.

I fear that the distinction is lost on her.

Merging

I anguished a lot these past couple of weeks about how I am going to manage to be a good parent to two little girls. What to do when Baby N is crying because she wants to nurse and Miss Bee is crying because she wants Mommy to put her to bed and I am almost crying because it's really loud and I'm just tired.

But there are good things too--today Bee and I went to the library, just the two of us. We did puzzles and checked out a whole stack of books. Afterward, I called home and was informed that Baby N was fast asleep, so Bee and I went to Starbucks, ordered the usual (milk for her and a chai latte for me) and read her storybooks. We were both happy and relaxed afterward, and it made for a good afternoon at home.

I am starting to figure out balancing the both of them--an arsenal of games that I can play with Bee while I am feeding the baby, and encouraging Bee to accept doing more things with my husband. And I am learning that I can't rein in my three year old too tightly--as she is wont to stomp and sing exuberantly and squeeze the baby a little tighter than I would like. She is just being a three year old, and I have to set boundaries without crushing her tender feelings. I want Bee to be her vibrant self, love her Mama and her still love her sister.

Little things

Only a few random thoughts tonight--I really should be going to bed because both my girls have gone to sleep and the littlest one will certainly be awake three hours from now. . .

Miss Bee was very patient with her tired parents this morning. She woke up around 7. I had been awake from 3-6 am and was consequently hoping for a little more sleep. I managed to make sure she went potty and wasn't attempting to play with any sharp objects before passing out in my bed again. I think she read some books to herself for a while, but then very sweetly, yet insistently, crawled into her bed to wake up her mommy and daddy. The poor child wanted some breakfast.

Baby N had a bath today and I can't decide whether her freshly washed hair looks more like a dandelion puff or baby crow feathers. The latter I think. Her hair is a deep dark brown like my husband's. Little babies are positively bewitching.

My husband's love for me manifested itself in a new vacuum today. I have been longing for one that works properly and not only does it work, it is a gorgeous little Dyson canister vacuum. I am too spoiled. Tomorrow I will vacuum the entire house and sigh happily the entire time.

Another month here before we trek back to Romania. There is still so much I want to soak up here in the US. I am glad that we'll be back in the summer. This is home.

Books for the New Year

I don't have any particular reading goal in mind for this year. However, having a library within walking distance of my house and plenty of time sitting down feeding a hungry baby, has given me ample time to read.

"Jillian Dare: a novel," by Melanie Jeschke--Gotta love the earnestness of the title ("a novel!"). I read this book first to see whether my brain could handle anything more complicated than the latest news on washingtonpost.com. This book is written by a University of Virginia grad, and takes place in Virginia (even including a visit to Tyson's corner mall). It's a modern version of Jane Eyre. If I were being unkind, I would describe it as Jane Eyre written on the level of U.S. Weekly. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'll admit, I quite enjoyed the story, but was really surprised that that author managed to get this book published. I guess there is hope for us all.

"Annie's Ghosts, a journey into a family secret" by Steve Luxenberg--this book is part memoir and part detective story. The author had an aunt he never knew about, because the aunt had been institutionalized. It's a journey into the world of psychiatric hospitals and family secrets. The story was interesting at first, but the author spends a lot of time dissecting each minute scrap of evidence he uncovers. It becomes a bit tedious by the end.

"Day after Night" by Anita Diamant--I loved "The Red Tent" and this book is no disappointment either. It takes place in an internment camp for illegal immigrants to British occupied Palestine, just after the end of World War II. The The characters, all young Jewish women who survived the war in a variety of circumstances, are finely wrought and believable. It was an interesting and worthwhile read.

Accomplished

In the almost three weeks since Baby N's arrival, I have only managed to accomplish two things on a regular basis: feeding the baby and laundry. The former is my main job at the moment, and I have taken on the latter out of pure necessity. These jobs, while insignificant, are of vital importance in my own life. So I nurse N, sort the lights from darks, fold shirts and match socks, and repeat.

So I felt very productive today when my husband and I filled our calendar with appointments for January--a variety of doctor, dentist, day care, and passport related activities. While we didn't actually get anything done, we now have the intention to, you see.

You can imagine my wild excitement then when both girls were napping *at the same time* this afternoon and I went by myself to the library, Starbucks, and CVS.

It was a very nice little walk, the sun was shining, and that hour to myself was just the thing I needed to remember that I'm still me.

Comedienne

Miss Bee and I were playing library at 7:30 this morning, because that's what you must do as soon as you wake up.

I got to play the role of the multitasking nursing librarian. Bee was the library visitor. I set her to working filling out a library card "application." She worked on that for a while and brought me an elaborately scribbled piece of paper. As I was reviewing her qualifications (name, address etc) I asked, "Have you ever had a library card before?"

Her answer, "Not in my life, but in my heart."

!!!

She is gonna be a reader like her Mama.