Merging

I anguished a lot these past couple of weeks about how I am going to manage to be a good parent to two little girls. What to do when Baby N is crying because she wants to nurse and Miss Bee is crying because she wants Mommy to put her to bed and I am almost crying because it's really loud and I'm just tired.

But there are good things too--today Bee and I went to the library, just the two of us. We did puzzles and checked out a whole stack of books. Afterward, I called home and was informed that Baby N was fast asleep, so Bee and I went to Starbucks, ordered the usual (milk for her and a chai latte for me) and read her storybooks. We were both happy and relaxed afterward, and it made for a good afternoon at home.

I am starting to figure out balancing the both of them--an arsenal of games that I can play with Bee while I am feeding the baby, and encouraging Bee to accept doing more things with my husband. And I am learning that I can't rein in my three year old too tightly--as she is wont to stomp and sing exuberantly and squeeze the baby a little tighter than I would like. She is just being a three year old, and I have to set boundaries without crushing her tender feelings. I want Bee to be her vibrant self, love her Mama and her still love her sister.