I should not have household help. It is a privilege I do not deserve. However, here in Eastern Europe, it is a bit more affordable than in the US.
Unfortunately, Bee's babysitter and our housekeeper have managed to create so many conflicts with each other that they can no longer work together. Our housekeeper has acted very unprofessional. We are going to have to fire her and there is nothing more unpleasant.
Bee's babysitter is not the innocent victim in this, though. She has fueled their problems. This fact makes me very torn about firing the housekeeper. The babysitter seems to be doing a good job taking care of Bee. You know, though, I am not there all day with her so who knows what she's doing? What if she watches TV all day and ignores my precious daughter? What if she doesn't watch her closely enough while they are at the park? What if she yells at Bee? What if? What if? What if?
I cannot answer these questions. I have to trust that she is taking care of my daughter. All evidence points to the babysitter as being caring and involved. Bee is happy to see her come every day. They go to the park and make little art projects together. But I cannot know, I can only have faith and that faith is not easily given when it comes to Bee.
It is impossible to know a mother's love until you have become one. Right now, all of me wants to just stay home and be Bee's mommy. I can take care of her the best. No babysitters. No housekeepers. Nobody else but me and David and my baby.
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